Often when we are getting ready to perform a Maui wedding ceremony, the question will come up, “where should the bride stand?” Usually, we think of the tradition that the bride is supposed to be on the groom’s left side, closet to his heart. . .

But that tradition may have come from the days when a bride was placed on the groom’s left side during a wedding ceremony, not to be close to his heart, but to allow his right arm the freedom of movement so that he could use his sword in the event that some other man wanted to attack the groom and wisk her away!

Often, when we are deciding before the ceremony where a brides should stand, our concerns are more practical for the day’s circumstances. Sometimes it is better for the bride to stand on a particular side so that her hair will blow out of her face, not across it. At other times, it is better for her to be shielded from the setting sun by having her taller fiance stand between her and the sun.

I remember hearing of a family who each year during the holiday season would always cut off both ends of the large ham before cooking it in the stove. The pieces were wasted, and one thoughtful youngster asked why they were cut off in this way. It was discovered that grandma had started this “tradition” because her pan was too small to take the whole ham. Because she was such a great cook, all of the daughters had followed her directions precisely, not realizing the real reason for the wasted meat.

One of the most common traditions we face that of the secluded bride. Now, I understand why some brides like to be hidden away to make a grand entrance. There is certainly reasons for doing that. But don’t for a minute believe the wise tale that its “bad luck” to see each other before the wedding.

Even the wedding veil comes with its own tradition. I’ve heard it said that the bride was veiled to keep the groom from seeing her before he had made his commitment, because if he did see her beforehand, he would probably “pass” on the deal! Don’t be a secluded bride if it doesn’t fit your situation. This is probably the tradition that will create the largest challenge, especially if the bride and groom have no limo and can’t figure out how to get them both to the wedding site in separate vehicles.

In short, traditions are merely traditions based upon what worked in the past. You shouldn’t lock yourself into doing something a particular way just because you’ve heard it is a “tradition”. Who knows what the traditions were anyway? There are so many of them floating around, depending upon the culture you are researching.

Think of Fidler on the Roof and the father’s struggle as each of his daughter’s wants to break with the past when they fall in love and desire to get married. He had to learn to change, but not let himself be broken. In the end, traditions are far less important that your needs.

Coming to Maui to get married IS indeed a break of tradition. So many families would like young couples to stay home and have the traditional wedding, spending lots of money and often creating a large debt. But let me give you some important Maui wedding tips. When you come to paradise to start your lives together, your only limitations will be your own desires.

Wear what you want to wear. Be what you way to be. Fall in love all over again and walk off into the sunset of your very own custom romantic Maui wedding — like no one elses.

And then go home and make your friends jealous of the incredible time you had, with your awesome Maui wedding photography and your breathtaking Maui wedding video. That’s the way it should be at your Maui beach wedding.